Eight years ago, my best friend gave me one of the most treasured gifts that I have ever received. She gave me her trust and love and permission to spend the rest of our lives together.
Little did we know what would lie ahead on that sunny and beautiful December afternoon, but as I hugged her for probably the millionth time and kissed her for the first time, I knew that God had blessed me with the most wonderful woman that I could possibly have. And she just came into my life in the most unexpected way.
We went from being friends to close friends who would have one or two hour talks after church events. We went from being pals who would high-five each other after our beloved Denver Broncos won to people who were passionate about enjoying such entertainment, but placing no eternal value or hope in it. She went from being my friend's older sister to the woman I was crazy about and wanted to be with. It scared me so much that I asked God to take away the feeling if it wasn't from Him. God kept that feeling right there.
Because of the stringent times and setting in which we started dating, I felt like I had to fight hard and prove myself as a man worthy enough for Pam, and fight I did. I would do it all over again. But once I was given the okay to start dating her, I knew that we were meant to be married--I probably knew that before.
And as we stood on that hillside eight years ago, we probably didn't have to imagine how much of a fight it is to love in the context of marriage. Don't get me wrong, my wife if ultra lovable. The problem is that, by nature, I am full of self-loving, and the self absorption often causes me to miss out on the opportunities to love the people and things that are worthy of love.
Pam and I had no idea what would come our way in our first seven years of marriage, the challenges as well as the victories, the hardships as well as the joys. My wife has seen me, often times, at my darkest and most miserable. That hasn't been fair for her. All she has ever done is show me unconditional love and loyal trust in times where I want to or do, in fact, give in. She has fought for me.
Pammy, I hope that I have fought for you. I will continue to fight to be a man worthy of such a beautiful treasure. All of the struggle we have endured this year has been worth it because you have been there with me through all of it as the Lord carries us onward. Thank you for loving me no matter what. Thank you for doing me good and not evil. Thank you for the love you pour out on me, our kids, and all of the other people with whom you come into contact.
You are Proverbs 31 in beautiful progress.
You have touched so many lives. I am the man who is blessed to call you my one and only, and by the strength and grace of God, I will fight to treasure you the way that He does.
"So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed in him, 'If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.' They answered him, 'We are offspring of Abraham and have never been enslaved to anyone. How is that you say, 'You will become free'?' Jesus answered them, 'Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who commits sin is a slave to sin' (John 8:31-34)
Almost 2,000 years later, people are still taking offense to Jesus' teaching. In recent years, you would hear people say, instead of saying they were sons of Abraham, that they are sons of the Enlightenment, sons of Higher Criticism, sons of Scientific Reasoning and that they don't need Jesus' truth to set them free.
This issue is very simple. Many people see following Jesus as just another religion. It's another set of rules and rites to follow. It's just a bunch of people being confomists. Some people even like the message of mercy and forgiveness offered in the Bible, but they don't like the idea of taking up their crosses and becoming Christ's slave. They are unaware that they are slaves to their sin.
Those who like to consider themselves as rational or logical believe that their knowledge has set them free. They think that people who follow Christ are a bunch of morons with no ability to think for themselves who have been brainwashed by dogma. They are senseless automatons, letting corrupt religious leaders pull their strings. These "rational" and "logical" people don't realize that they subscribe to a form of slavery, a slavery where they always have to prove a point using scientific "proof." However, theory will never take the place of observation no matter how much they boast that it does. I had one co-worker tell me, when I asked him if evolution was a proven fact, that evolution was a fact, but the idea of how everything got here was a theory. How can someone assert that something is a fact when it is also a theory? Is it a stubborn addiction (or slavery) to being scientific, rational, or right?
I don't want to turn this into an evolution versus creation post. My point, or, more importantly, the Lord's point in the book of John, is that only the word of God can make us free. Yes, there is service and sacrifice involved in letting Jesus be Lord, but his yoke is easy and his burden is light. He gives rest to the soul of those who are truly his children. He rescues them from the spiritual death and destruction of sin. He guides them through his Holy Spirit. He breaks away the chains and ties us to him with his cords of grace, mercy, compassion, and love.
I'll take that kind of slavery any day over the chains that used to bind me and binds everyone who chooses not to follow Christ. 2 Corinthians 4:4 says that "[...] the god of this world [Satan] has blinded the minds of unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God."
I am so thankful that God has opened my eyes. My prayer is for all of those who mock and scoff Christianity, and lump it and its followers in with any other religion, is that they would, by the grace of God, have their eyes opened and see the unique beauty and irresistible grace of Jesus Christ and the life-changing power of the Bible, which is not a book written by lunatics. I would assert that it is a book that has been taken out of context by egotists. I also pray that those who don't agree with me would not feel judged by my words, for I, even with the new vision God has given me, have to renew my mind daily with Scripture, killing the lies that my mind would like to tell me about God and His ways.
"For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. For it is written, ‘I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and the discernment of the discerning I will thwart.’ Where is the one who is wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since, in the wisdom of God, the world did not know God through wisdom, it pleased God through the folly of what we preach to save those who believe…For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men” (1 Corinthians 1:18-21,25).
It has been a long time since I blogged. I don’t know how many people read it or care, but I am going to get back into it. I am going to try to be more concise in my entries so it doesn’t take people too long to read it.
I started this entry with a verse from 1 Corinthians chapter 1 because this is going to be the theme of my blog in the near future. No matter how hard I try to not get sucked into it, apologetics, or defending my Christian faith, is something that is very near and dear to my heart.
First, I feel this way because God’s truth has set me free. Second, I see too many people enslaved to the mindset described in the above verses. Scripture doesn’t make sense to those who do not wish to know the Lord. It is foolishness, superstition, and emotional paranoia in their eyes.
These people not only feel this way, but they go to great lengths to try to prove their point, boasting in their “logical” and “scientific” enlightenment and maligning the word of God. I could go on and on about examples of arguments and flat out lies that these people are so convinced are logical and free of emotional paranoia, but I want to honor my attempt to not be long-winded.
Therefore, I plan to use my blog to honor the word of God and that truth that has set me free. My goal is not to insult agnostics or atheists because there is a very fine line with the written word. However, scripture is very blatant about such ideologies; look up Psalm 14:1.
My hope and prayer is that if people feel offended by these entries, the offense will be due to Scripture, not me. I do not want to be defensive or nasty. No name calling on my end. Defense of truth and God’s deserved honor only. I am not rattled when people mock and scoff at me for my beliefs, but that does not mean that I am not going to reply and give you my opinion.
I thank God that we live in a country where we are free to discuss these things. My prayer is that God will be glorified through it and that some might come to know Him, His truth, and the true freedom that comes from abiding in that truth. With all of that said, my next entry will be about freedom and oppression as far as ideology is concerned.
Remember how I said I was going to try? I don’t think I was successful.
I have been a fan of hip hop for a long time, at least since junior high (early 90's). Being raised in a Christian home, I listened to some of the early Christian artists, ETW (End Time Warriors), PID, Michael Peace, and, yes, DC Talk. As I got older and was more influenced by the kids in my neighborhood and school, I started listening to a bunch of garbage with foul language that promoted sex, drugs, disrespect of authority, and narcissism. The music really affected me deeply, and I regret the stupid decisions I made based on this indoctrination of "hip" worldliness. The sad and subtle thing about rap music is that a lot of these rappers would claim to know God and have a relationship with Him; it was the church and society that didn't understand them. They would have a song about heaven or a song that was some sort of a confession to God. Then, the next song would talk about their sexual exploits. What a distortion of what it means to know the Lord! I soon bought into this subtle lie, that I was a good person because I "talked" to God and asked Him tough questions about life. He was a God of love, and, at the end of all of the chaos, sinfulnees, and unhappiness, He would receive me into heaven because I believed the Bible was true and could quote it.
When God brought me to repentance (We are called not only to believe, but to repent also!), I had a half-hearted approach to walking away from all of that garbage. For the first time ever, I realized all of the hopelessness and futility in the words that I once thought were truth. However, I still loved the music from an artistic standpoint.
I tried to find good Christian rap. ETW and PID were outdated; DC Talk was on their fourth or fifth genre of music. What I found were a bunch of artists who were just trying to be like everyone else in the world without cussing and being sinful. Rappers were talking more about the hood than they were about Christ and the gospel. A certain rapper who has amazing skill made it a point to talk about all of the violent things that he could do to the devil and demons. I thought that I might as well listen to secular stuff, not Christian music that was trying so hard to sound like secular artists. This was an area of compromise that God has graciously broken me of in the past year thanks to a new movement called Holy Hip Hop.
I have written my own rap songs since junior high. After high school, I was in a rap duo with a great friend, but our music promoted all of the things for which Christ died. After Christ transferred me from darkness to light, I was compelled by the Holy Spirit to walk away from our rap pursuits just when we were finally starting to get good. I tried writing some Christian lyrics shortly after that, but there were no truly sound artists from whom to draw inspiration. About six years later, I started writing lyrics again. They were better, and they reflected spiritual growth and a better understanding of Scripture and Christ's centrality in redemption. The old narcissism that is so prevalent in hip hop was slowly dissolving away.
Then came an email from a friend with a link to Shai Linne's myspace page. I clicked it right away and heard the song "Where You There?" It was similar to a song that I had written entitled "Still Screamin'", only Shai Linne's was so much better. Below is a link to a youtube video that includes a slide show with the song:
I eventually purchased a copy of "The Atonement" by Shai Linne. It was the first sound Christian hip hop album that I had ever purchased. I have heard a number of testimonials about people who totally despised rap music (people who are a generation removed from hip hop music), but were so blessed by the content of "The Atonement." It is a must have for all believers, in my opinion. It will change your life if you will just sit down and listen carefully to it. If you just can't bring yourself to listen to the music, please check out his lyrics at the following website:
http://www.lyricaltheology.blogspot.com
Over the past year, my Holy Hip Hop collection has expanded greatly. I could go on and on about each rapper or group that I listen to on a regular basis, but I will just talk briefly about one group and then provide links to the music pages of some groups that I fully endorse.
116 Clique is out to magnify the Savior and His Word. 116 Clique includes Lecrae, Sho Baraka, Trip Lee, and Tedashii. These guys are all about the Lord and His gospel. They are not about themselves. They are not trying to sound like anybody else. Their music is an inspiration, first and foremost, to help people live their lives to the glory of God, and they are also a blessing to serious hip hop fans who crave solid and God-glorifying content. Their music is amazing from an artistic standpoint. These four are on tour right now on the "Don't Waste Your Life" Tour. The video at the top of this post is of Lecrae performing the title track. I was blessed to see part of this concert two nights ago in Phoenix (the non-air-conditioned venue was a little too much for me and my four-year-old son). I walked away from the show somewhat disappointed that it was overwhelmingly hot but thankful for the hearts of all four of these men, living their lives to the glory of God and touring the country to encourage other people do the same.
Check out the webpages for the following God-glorifying record labels:
This is probably the best quote I have ever read or heard regarding God's heart in election. I am looking forward to responding confidently (with humility and grace) to the next person who knocks on predestination or election without having any semblance of Biblical understanding. The quote is taken from a sermon delivered by Scott Maxwell this past Sunday at Grace Bible Church in Tempe, Arizona:
"There is nothing cold about election or predestination. There is nothing mechanical about predestination or election. There is nothing fatalistic about election or predestination in Ephesians 1 and if anyone tells you otherwise, you can rest assured that they haven’t read Ephesians 1. Christian, there is no greater display of God’s kindness to you than in His predestinating work of adoption, to make you one of His own through His privileged Son."
Click on the link if you would like to listen to the whole sermon. It is amazing. I am really going to miss sitting under Scott's preaching, but I am thankful that I will still be able to listen to him online on a regular basis. The message is from July 5th and is titled "Ephesians: Boasting in the Father Who Chose Us!"
Today, Sarah Palin has resigned as the governor or Alaska. I know it is only a matter of time (if it hasn't happened already) until the media creates round two of Give-Palin-the-Hatchet. O how joyful they must be right now. I personally think it is very sad how many people judged Sarah Palin based on the way that the ridiculously biased media portrayed her. They were unfair and never gave Palin a chance. I don't think anyone can dispute that regardless of how they feel about Palin. It is a shame how many voters made their selection on slanted news coverage which found every fault they possibly could with Palin, but purposefully ignored faults related to Obama and his vice presidential candidate, Joe Biden (the media liked to call those faults "distractions").
Sarah Palin is the object of so much hatred, and I think that it is hypocritical of people who pay such lip-service about tolerance, equality, and fairness to rave the way they do about Sarah Palin. Is such treatment only sexism when it is directed at a women who views the world left-of-center? I don't think so.
I personally don't think that Sarah Palin's move is a good one politically. She gave her reasons why she is leaving, and the media should respect that and report that, not editorialize it. They also shouldn't, but probably will, consider this a moral victory for themselves. They will attribute Palin's resignation to not being able to take the pressure that they threw at her in a lopsided fashion. They view her as the enemy and have criticized her for having the audacity to give birth to a child with Down Syndrome and to allow her unwed teenage daughter to give birth as well. What a horrible reason to criticize: because she is pro-life and dissimilar to Hillary.
Once upon a time, I desired to be a journalist, but when I discovered how so much of journalism is about slaughtering people with ink, I figured I would do something a little more fair and constructive to society and democracy.
I finish today's post with a quote from an excellent read regarding the left-wing's utter loathing of Sarah Palin, a woman whom I consider honorable and who possessed a certain strength and resolve that could really help our nation if both sides could learn how to coexist. The media doesn't ever want to see such cooperation between the parties take place. The quote is from Bernard Goldberg:
"What makes these liberals foam at the mouth is that this "white trash," pro-gun, pro-life, church-going woman, who didn't go to Harvard or Yale or Princeton, but who flitted from one second-rate school to another before she wound up ... at the University of Idaho, became the most prominent woman in all of America! They hated that. It wasn't supposed to be that way. It drove them crazy with rage. She wasn't one of them. She wasn't even really a woman, as those feminists told us. She was... a conservative!
"Your word I have treasured in my heart, that I may not sin against You." --Psalm 119:11
"Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things." --Philippians 4:8
I am convicted that I do too little when it comes to Scripture memorization. I was pretty good at it when I was little. Some people claim that it gets harder as we get older, but I haven't come to that point yet. So, what's my problem? I'm lazy! Also, most importantly, I am choosing not to do what I am called to do in Scripture.
We are bombarded with songs, commercials, and catchy phrases in our society, and they fill our hearts. Soon, the mouth starts to speak out of that which fills the heart. Honestly, society is not putting out anything that is worthy of filling my heart. I figure that it's time to start bombarding my heart with the Bible, the immense fountain of transcendent treasure, the book that is full of what is true, honorable, right, of good repute, excellent, and worthy of praise.
In Psalm 119:11, the psalmist states that he has "treasured" God's word in his heart. As I reflect on those words, I get the Treasure Island idea of pirate searching for buried treasure. When that treasure was initially buried, somebody (1) took time to place the treasure in a special place, and that person (2) also created some sort of means to retrieve that treasure or help others find it like, possibly, a map.
To treasure God's word in my heart, the little five to ten minute devotion is insufficient; my heart goes bankrupt. I have to first view God's word as a treasure, something worthy of taking the time so that I can bury that treasure in the special place of my heart. I have to treasure it enough so that I don't forget that it is there also.
Some people automatically label Scripture memorization as legalism, another thing to add to the to-do list. It is possible to memorize Bible verses because they are Sunday school assignments and never really ponder the words; it becomes a mantra or mindless chant. However, who's to say that at some point in a person's life that person will not have that verse become a blessed treasure in his heart, giving him hope during a trial or words of life to encourage or exhort another believer. Also, memorizing Scripture does not have to be a mindless chanting or "religious" chore; it should be our means to treasuring God's word and our method we use so that we can dwell on all of those positive adjectives that the apostle Paul describes in Philippians 4:8.
The pastor of our Arizona church challenged people to start memorizing the book of Ephesians in anticipation on a new teaching series. I have been working on that this week, and I have been thoroughly blessed by it. In my Christian life, I have been challenged from the pulpit many times to memorize Scripture and have ashamedly ignored such exhortations. I have sucessfully memorized all of Ephesians 1 (in the NASB) and the first ten verses of chapter two. I must say that these words are perfect treasure to hide in my heart in a place where I can summon them to my mind time and time again. Chapter one deals with "the riches of His (God's) grace" and "the praise of His glory." All of these treasures (like election, adoption as sons, redemption, a spirit of wisdom and revelation of the knowledge of God, etc.) are brought about "in Christ." Chapter two basically reminds me that God is rich in mercy and grace; I brought nothing to the table when he saved me, and it is He who prepared all of the "good works" before I ever did a single one as a regenerated believer. These are the things that are pure, good, right, of good repute, excellent, and worthy of praise.
I encourage anyone who isn't working on any kind of memorization to work on memorizing the book of Ephesians. Let's do it, Grace Bible Church.
I am convicted by the power of God's word to help me fight against sin and focus my feeble, ever-distracted mind on Philippians 4:8 criteria. I am blessed by the illumination of the Holy Spirit who allows me to savor and delight in what I am memorizing. I am encouraged to make memorization a lifelong discipline through dependence on the Spirit which I am confident will help me in fighting my war of the mind and battles with my sin nature.
There once lived a young man whose world was turned upside down. A speaker sharing the gospel seemed to read this young man's mind. He walked away a changed man. A Vietnam veteran, he started attending college and met the love of his life. He asked her to dance. They started to fall in love. He asked her to marry him; she was afraid, but not of him. He waited for her to say yes. He wasn't going anywhere. On a road trip, one day, she finally said yes.
Almost four years into their marriage, they had a son. Two and a half years later, they had another child, a girl. This now grown man worked so hard for his family. He also was a living example of a godly man. All you had to do was contrast his words and deeds with his relatives' at family reunions and get-togethers. It stood out to his son that he was probably the only man at those family functions that wasn't drinking or smoking.
This man's son loved church too. He loved it so much that he decided to throw a fit one Sunday evening when it was time to go home. For over half of the trip home, his son protested vehemently, insisting that he was not going to go home. Well, then the man pulled over to a dark street corner at Walnut and Nora and let his little son have a choice. If he wasn't going to go home, he could get out of the car. The son thought that he would certainly convince his parents that he was right if he got out of the car, so he did that very thing. To his shock, he watched as the yellow car pulled away and the tailights got smaller and smaller, heading westward, the opposite direction of church--and him. Now, his son just wanted to go home. The man's wife fought back the desire to flagellate him for leaving her baby boy alone on some dark street corner. He accelerated more quickly than usual, driving completely around the block to get back to his son, who was more than ready to get back into the car and go home.
There are so many stories of this man, and they are not all as controversial as the previous. There is the story of his crazy friend who always had an interesting way of helping him celebrate a new birthday. A knock at the door followed by a flying pie to the face brought his little son to tears; the man got the joke and enjoyed it immensely--after he comforted his son. Other birthday memories include a t-shirt buried in a cement block, a bag of manure, and some kind of gift enclosed in a small wooden casket for his 40th birthday. It might seem harsh, but this man was just getting back what he always liked to dish out. This is, after all, the same man who folded his ear up tightly into a rubber band and told his little kids that his ear had been cut off and the same man who, to this day, goes out of his way to pull pranks on friends, co-workers, and family and loves to engage in a little friendly trash-talking.
There are more serious memories too. There was the time that he wandered all around the West Central Spokane neighborhood, looking for the juvenile who had asked if he could "borrow" his son's basketball, the devastated look in his son's eyes when the ball never returned driving him from park to park until he retrieved it. There were all of the nights that his father showed amazing patience when his son would run terrified into their room night and night again. There were the talks about God being in control and watching over their family that sunk into his son's head right before the man would pray for two things: first, that his son would grow up to be a man of God and, second, that his son wouldn't have any bad dreams or be afraid of scary noises. There was a night were he stayed up all night with his son--now thirteen--to play Magic Johnson's Fast Break on the family's new Nintendo Entertainment System. There was the time that his son heard him really cry for the first time after he tried to share the hope of Jesus Christ with a dear family member, who replied by scoffing in a fit of drunkenness and bitterness. There was the time when he prayed that God would let him die in the place of his father, who was dying from cancer and didn't know the Lord. There was the time that he took his hormonal, know-it-all son aside in high school and said that he had "been there too."
This man, the hard-working, godly, family man, probably went through years of wondering what he did wrong as a father as his son was capsized by a torrent of debauchery. He yelled at his son for his son's own benefit. He cried for his son. He pleaded over and over again for his son. Everything that he had done to train his son in the right path the son had rejected. The son lived recklessly and irresponsibly, feeling so free in his vices, his chains. This man could do nothing else but pray. And pray he did.
The man made a point to hate the sin but love the sinner that was his only son. Yes, it is possible to do that, and praise God for the people who do it. When all of his son's pursuits left him empty and forlorn, his father wasn't there saying, "I told you so!" He was there giving him rides to work since he was too irresponsible with money to have a car or keep one running. He would take his wayward son to breakfast on Friday mornings, where the man always met with godly men to dig into the Bible and pray for one another. Of course, the man would always treat his son.
This man may have never known that he was still fully engaged in the process of making a disciple of Jesus Christ in his son just by the unconditional love that he showed him. It may have taken 21 years and ten days for true repentance to take place, but this man never backed down from the process. All of those years of modeling the light of Christ at those family functions, praying with his son when he was young and for him when he ran off on his own, and reading the Bible with and to his family were not years spent in vain. The immovable devotion to his wife that stood in stark contrast to the broken marriages plaguing his neighborhood, on top of everything else just mentioned, are a few of the evidences of God's grace in this man that the Lord used to bring his son to grace in 1999.
Many men make huge impacts, but they don't know it. They speak to their children as toddlers and wonder if they are processing a single word. They speak to them as teenagers and wonder if their words mean anything to the kids in the midst of all of their teenage drama, their hormones, and their unfounded confidence and self-assurance.
Time is the greatest teller of whether or not words spoken have made an impression. It is not just the words that mattered for this man. It was the deeds that backed up the words. It was wrestling matches, the hot breakfasts, the first time his son ran Bloomsday with him, the practical jokes, and many other things.
It should be pretty obvious who this man is. He has been married to the love of his life for almost thirty-five years. He says that one of the happiest accomplishments of his life is having two children who love God. He loves little children in a way that models Christ, and he now has three grandchildren of his own. His one friend who gave him all of the crazy gifts still brings around morbid gifts--this year, a buzzard named Murdock? He still works his tail off to care for his family today, at the age of sixty.
This man is my father, Jim Gilchrist. He is not just my biological father, but he has been my spiritual father and one of my dearest friends. I wanted to take the time to let him and everyone else know how amazing of a father he is by the grace of God.
I am reading through the Bible chronologically right now. I am currently reading about David's trials and persecution under King Saul. It is very refreshing to read some of the Psalms that David wrote after reading about the context in which they were written.
David was basically a fugitive in 1 Samuel 20-24. Saul had sent men to ambush him at his home, so he took off and wandered around, living in caves and hiding from Saul. He had no home and no food; he had to ask a priest for consecrated bread. David was real in the midst of these trials; it is obvious that he was upset and hurt by his trial. However, David's desires in the midst of this trial absolutely floors me. He could ask for restoration to his home and his wife. He could ask for peace between himself and Saul. But this is what David requests: "One thing I have asked from the Lord, that I shall seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord and to meditate in His temple...I would have despaired unless I had believed that I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living" (Psalm 27:4,13). These verses really affected me as I read them this week.
David was not saying these words in some state of royalty and ease, but in one of desperation, loneliness, and poverty. It could be so easy for Him to have just said, "God, I just want this trial to stop. Please restore me to my home. Let me have something to eat. Enough is enough." No, David asked for God's presence and goodness, and he had unwavering confidence that he would experience that "goodness of the Lord in the land of the living."
There are so many things that I find myself asking the Lord for over and over again: a job, financial security, the joy of bringing my son home from the hospital for the first time, and many other things that are not bad in and of themselves. I don't have anyone trying to kill me, and I am not having to live my life in hiding as David did. I wish that we all could have the heart of David, having only one object worthy of our ambitions and pursuits, the God of immeasurable beauty within whose "presence is fullness of joy." Those other things, even the joy of looking at my precious little boy as he sleeps in my arms, cannot give such joy. But, they can be enjoyed all the more when God is our everything and His gifts, like Jonathan Edwards said, are like the "beams" of "the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow" (James 1:17b).
The Los Angeles Lakers need to be made an example of right now. Not to take away from Kobe's amazing ability, but the Lakers have been getting away with playing dirty for a long time in the playoffs. From Kwame Brown standing over an opponent like he just won the heavyweight title a few years ago to the dirty, cheap elbows being thrown in games one and two of the Lakers-Rockets series in this year's playoffs, the Lakers are indeed showing that they have no class even though Kobe Bryant seems to think like he is the only person in the NBA who has any. No one is buying it, Kobe, except for all of the yellow Kool-Aid drinkers out there.
There have always been a number of reasons to dislike the Lakers in my opinion: the media and the NBA's own referees have always doted on them, Kobe Bryant is arrogant, their fans are typically (but not always) obnoxiously cocky, Kobe Bryant is a narcissist, they are symbolic of that ever-prevalent "people from southern California are better than everyone else" myth, they are historically, to the chagrin of fans of other Western Conference teams, very good, and Kobe Bryant is full of himself. It is safe to say, after watching the first two games of the Lakers-Rockets series, that the Los Angeles Lakers are a dirty team as well.
Take Laker forward Sasha Vujacic's splitting open the head of Shane Battier in game one for example. Vujacic tipped a loose ball to Kobe Bryant and made sure to follow through and smack Battier right in the eye. Vujacic had already made contact with the ball before he decided to follow through. Battier, whose face was splattered with blood after being cut open, started protesting to the referees, bewildered that no foul had been called. Ron Artest, who is definitely loco, got in Kobe Bryant's face in the fourth quarter of game two because Kobe threw an elbow in the vicinity of Artest's neck while they were jockeying for position under the hoop. Artest's explanation for his actions was that he tried to talk to the referees about Kobe throwing the elbows and decided that he would talk to the culprit himself since the refs wouldn't do anything about it.
Crazy or not, Artest is not the only one in recent years to accuse Kobe of being dirty and express frustration toward the refs' looking the other way. Raja Bell took matters into his own hands, basically DDTing Kobe after a few frustrating games. Kobe got up, dusted himself off, and did his patented arrogant finger wagging. Then, in a post game press conference, he spoke in the most condescending manner regarding Raja Bell.
Derek Fisher, whom I thought to be a class act, decided to play dirty in game two as well and was assessed a flagrant 2 for intentionally trying to run through a Luis Scola screen.
There are some big problems with the way the NBA doesn't crack down on the Lakers. Kobe Bryant, after the game yesterday, said, "It's basketball!" Wrong! It is Phil Jackson, "get my players to take some sneaky cheapshots in order to get into the heads of the opposing team" basketball. That has always been Jackson's M.O. Sadly, it is not respectable. Kobe gets to play however he wants, and the NBA and its referees are eating out of his hand. They are afraid to hold Kobe Bryant accountable because he might point his majestic finger in their faces or wag it in disapproval.
Equally annoying to me is the way that the yellow Kool-Aid drinkers stand by everything that the Lakers do. They can do no wrong. It is funny to them the Battier got his face busted open. It is funny that Derek Fisher leveled Luis Scola ON PURPOSE. People who appreciate the game of basketball should view the game objectively when it comes to foul play. As a bandwagon Bulls fan in high school, I really started disliking them when they added Dennis Rodman to their roster. As a Broncos fan, I loathed Bill Romonowski. When are the Laker fans going to stop applauding stupidity and poor sportsmanship. I wouldn't feel happy about my team winning after conducting themselves in such a vicious manner.
We have been blessed by God's hand in our lives; I am especially blessed by the power of Christ which dwells in us in our weakness and infirmities (2 Corinthians 12--Check it out). I see nothing in myself for which I could take credit during these past few months. Christ has been my sustainer and my hope. I am thankful that He is faithful to forgive me of my sins when I confess them. Grace is deep and abounds for me, the most wretched, complaining sinner.
Our son, Isaiah, will be six weeks old tomorrow. He is doing pretty well, but the going has definitely been slow as we have longed so much for the day when our family is fully together. We are hoping to have him home in a month. That is my prayer. I have basically traveled to the hospital everyday for the past three months, a very long three months. It is so good to have Pam home, and I am thankful for what seems to be a speedy recovery for her. Joshua and Nadine have been through so much, and it breaks my heart that I haven't been able to create greater stability for my family. The next few months will definitely bring even more changes to our family, and I need to be faithful to pray for my children and shepherd them through those changes. It is easier to roll with the punches when you are older, but children love routine and normalcy; our family has definitely experienced no such thing in the past few months.
I have three weeks of school left. I am part of what is called a reduction in force (rif), so now my title has changed. I am no longer just an English teacher; I am a RIFed English teacher, running out my time. There is a decent possibility that I would get my job back; in fact, my district has to give me top priority for three years when they need to hire new teachers. However, I have informed my department chair that I will not be returning if they were to rehire me, and I have asked the best English teacher in the school to write me a letter of recommendation; he said he would write me a "glowing" one, praise God. I am thankful that God has given me the past three years to work with teenagers and make them appreciate literature that I found mediocre in high school. I am finishing up Romeo and Juliet and Taming of the Shrew with my students, and that has been a lot of fun to see them take an interest in these timeless plays. I do not know for sure what the future holds for me regarding education, but Pam and I have decided that it will not take place in Arizona.
We are taking a leap of faith similar to the one that we took about four years ago when we moved to Arizona: we are moving back to Spokane. Once our lease runs out at the end of July, we are going to head back to the inland northwest, our home. We love it, we miss it, and we have desired to return to it for over two years now. What I will be doing in Spokane remains to be seen. I do have some wonderful friends and family whom I know are, and will be, looking out for me. I do have faith that there will be some kind of work in Spokane for me because I am willing to do whatever it takes. We are so excited to begin this new chapter of our life.
I am looking forward to using my hip hop passion up in Spokane. Spokane definitely has an artistic side, and I want to use this "strange" talent of mine to proclaim the gospel during big community events. Open air hip hop. Also, Pam and I both have a desire to really look out for people who are new to church and reach out to them. It is too easy for us as believers to get comfortable with our circles and never look outside of those. We develop this Sunday routine of looking for the people that we already know. Meanwhile, people who are new to the church don't know anyone, and they stand around seeing people walk by them to go talk with their friends. We want to be sensitive to that for the rest of our lives.
As we wait out our time here, my hope is that we make the most of our time here. Leaving here will be very bittersweet because we will be leaving behind some very dear and valued brothers and sisters in Christ. I want to be a part of their lives up until the minute we leave here (as well as after we depart). I don't want to check out on our church or our church family since we know we will be moving. I am thankful for the internet and how that will keep us connected to our wonderful friends here in Arizona. I am still trying to figure out what to do for income from the time that school ends to the time that we move. I will also be actively trying to figure out exactly what I will be doing for work in Spokane during that interim.
Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement. We look forward to what the Lord is going to do in our lives. It has been an amazing journey. Grace and peace to all.
What is the meaning of trials? I want to be Constantly gleaming with smiles—glad company. Alas, this is not the case. A bitter taste Sours my expression. Here’s reflection on these days: After two easy pregnancies, the third wasn’t a charm. My wife in the hospital seven weeks; IVs in her arm. A family divided. Me taking care of two kids, Ages two and three-and-a-half wondering where mommy is. One illness after another. Nights without wife and mother. The loss of her income. God, I’m feeling smothered. I felt so alone. No time to spend with friends. And not too many called. What is wrong with Christian men? The wife is finally home, but our newborn son remains, Three months premature. Man, it pours when it rains. As if that weren’t enough, I just lost my job. I do not see no [sic] hope unless my hope is all in God
Count it Joy (Count it Joy)! How can I (How can I) Count it Joy when every hope seems to die? It’s just a moment! One day even I, Each tear wiped from my eye, will be caught up to the sky.
Picture me, now. About 740 BC In the year Uzziah died was the day I got to see The One of whom angels cry “Holy, holy, holy! All earth’s full of His glory!" Hear my brief story: I was commissioned to call the calloused to account, Knowing they’d be destroyed in their sins, and no amount Of God-inspired words from my coal-cleansed lips would change Those who love tradition with hearts far out of range. I got to show an irreverent king a sign from high: A virgin shall be with Child. He’ll be the Suffering Servant guy. Assyria and Babylon closing in fast. High places, kings usurping priests, no one held fast To the word of the Holy One of Israel. Not many brothers came my way to wish me well. And with the death of a king who paid me a little mind, The new king is Mannasseh, the Nero of Palestine. Worship of Jehovah is faux pas under this king. Micah and I tried to warn him that this was not a good thing. How long, o Lord, the streets are flooded with a bloodbath. The king of your chosen people’s gonna saw me in half.
Count it Joy (Count it Joy)! Here am I (Here am I) To do your will till I’m caught up to the sky. It’s just a moment! One day even I Will bless some hurting guy who reads of God’s work through my life.
I left my throne to be forsaken and alone. What was rightly mine I did not grasp as my own. From a lowly manger smelling of urine and dung To the tree on Calvary where my broken body hung. Nowhere to lie my head at night after long days. In me alone was the Light and peace and grace, But the leaders of my people straight smirked in my face. My yoke they would not take. The Bread of Life they would not taste. Even after signs and wonders and proclamation, I wept for this nation that didn’t see its visitation. And my own disciples were so dull in their hearing Of the things the Christ must suffer as the days were nearing. My Father hid His eyes. My flesh was torn. Betrayed by friends. Nailed to a cross next to criminals. Thorns pierced my head. You should shed tears as you hear my story. My suffering has purchased an eternal weight of glory
Life has been so challenging, and it just got all the more difficult. The state of Arizona is cutting its education spending. State legislators are taking their sweet time letting school districts know exactly how much. They have until June 30th to make their budgets; unfortunately, school districts have a "responsibility" to inform their teachers whether or not they will have jobs next year by April 15th. Many districts are expecting the worst. It would be nice if the elected officials understood the ramifications of lolly-gagging around about their budgets, and it would be equally nice if districts didn't feel the need to do everything by the book when people's careers are at stake. Regardless, my district is letting about 200 teachers go, and I am one of them. Once they get their budgets from the legislature, they will probably try to rehire as many people as they can. However, I personally think it is ludicrous to expect people to sit around and hope they get their jobs back. People have families to think about and need to move on. I intend to move on. I know that sounds stubborn, but it is also stubborn for a district to not keep its word about doing all it can to avoid having to cut jobs. I would be fine if they waited until they knew for sure before they told me I didn't have a job.
It is very bittersweet for me. We have prayed for a long time about moving back to Spokane. Around Christmas time, we were pretty committed to doing it this summer. However, so much has happened since then. My wife had to be on bedrest in an antepartum room for seven and a half weeks before she had to have an emergency c-section to deliver our son, Isaiah, almost three months early. She lost her income, and I used up all of my sick leave taking care of sick kids while she was in the hospital. She and the kids qualified for state health insurance due to our circumstances. With all that has happened and the economy's current dismal condition, we decided that we would try to stay another year since I had a teaching job and since she and the three kids have free insurance. I had finally found a place where I enjoyed teaching. I actually looked forward to teaching there another year. I also looked forward to another year with sweeet and loving brothers and sisters in Christ from our church here in Arizona as well. I am so blessed by the way that they have loved my wife and my kids.
So, our plans are very uncertain. I am full of doubts and fears right now, but I think that this certainly opens the door, wide open, to return to Pam's and my hometown. It is the place where we want to raise our family and settle down. Arizona has been very lonely for me and a place full of what seems like endless trials. I know that there will certainly be trials in Spokane, especially considering the current economic predicament, but I am willing to do anything to provide for my family. I believe that there will be some thing--probably a number of things to support a family of five--for me to do as far as work is concerned. It is very scary. Health insurance is a huge concern. Insuring a whole family of dependents really drains your paycheck and feels like a superfluous expense until a family member ends up in the hospital. I will finish the school year, which ends May 22nd. Hopefully, Isaiah will be home at this point. After that, we have a little over two months on our apartment lease. I will try to find some kind of temporary work here (if that is even possible right now) to provide for our needs during that time. Unless some miracle, excluding Gilbert Public Schools hiring me back, occurs, we hope to move back to Spokane. Family has offered to help, and I so appreciate that right now; still, I long for the day when we don't have to live so much off of people's help. Once in Spokane, I will do what I need to do to become a substitute teacher and try to find an evening job as well.
Please pray for me. This was the straw that broke the camel's back for me. We have so much on our minds right now, and I didn't want to have to think about this right now. I have never felt as disillussioned about education in Arizona as I do right now, and I still have six and a half weeks left to fulfill on my contract. There is such a thing as teacher morale--sorry to those of you who think we are overpaid for the amount of time we work--and that morale has dropped greatly. The sadness on my campus among students and all teachers is almost tangible. I am very disappointed that I couldn't just finish the school year before finding out. Knowing that they are letting me go at the end of the year makes motivation all the more difficult. It was already difficult, having a newborn in the NICU. Pray that God would really open doors even wider to allow us to move back to Spokane confidently. Pray that God would continue to floor us in the way that He provides in unexpected ways. Finally, please pray for my mindset. I am very weary and worn out from the last few months. I am tired of people telling me about providence and God's hand in it because I already know that. That doesn't make anything easier when you are in the midst of the crucible. Please just pray that the Holy Spirit would convince me of those truths that God uses "all things." Right now, I so desperately wish I could see the use of the things we are enduring. I trust that the time will come on either this side or the other side of heaven.
Thank you for your prayers. They are much appreciated and needed.
Tomorrow marks the 10th anniversary from the day where God miraculously snatched me out of a worldly, hopeless, and--contrary to my perception at the time--Godless state of spiritual death. For those of you who don't know, in the months leading up to this point in my life, I was 20, looking forward to being of legal drinking age. I had always had that tendency to think that my life would be complete if this or that happened. 21 was going to be what completed me. So I thought; I was dead-in-my-sins wrong. God had been graciously showing me, in the days leading up to my 21st birthday, that the way of the world was futile. No matter how hard I would party, no matter how drunk or how high I could get, and no matter how many "friends" I had around me, I was never content; there was a part of me telling me that there had to be more to life than this. I would hear my friends boast about how many girls they were sleeping with as they went out to different bars and parties. It seemed like a vicious and empty cycle to me, fully devoid of any true companionship--and true love. Honestly, it seemed shameful and depraved. I now realize more than ever that God was exceedingly merciful in revealing that to me before I ever truly knew Him. Scripture talks of God giving people over to a sinful and depraved mind. My mind was certainly depraved, but the Spirit was obviously at work. So, my 21st birthday hit. I got out of work, went to my parents house for dinner, and watched the Gonzaga Bulldogs beat the Florida Gators in the Sweet 16 on a last second tip-in. I do get teary-eyed when I remember that game, but not nearly as much as I do when I ponder God's amazing grace toward me ten days later.
My parents bought some kind of hard cider to celebrate my birthday. They raised a toast. I don't remember the exact words, but I remember sensing deeply that my parents understood that I was now a man and that they were letting me go, trusting in the God to whom they had prayed regarding my soul for countless days, even years. As they let me go, my mind was on hitting the bar scene for the first time. All of my drinking buddies took me out over the next three nights. I don't even want to describe how ridiculously intoxicated I was. It didn't seem to wear off during the day. So, I had my initiation into the bar scene. I was apparently a very happy and entertaining drunk, but I don't remember any happiness or entertainment, just intense discontentment when I woke up and regret for the immense stupidity on my drunken behalf.
My bar scene days lasted ten days, by God's grace. It was a Saturday night, March 27th, and I was out with one of those friends who always showed up when he didn't have any money, alcohol, or drugs of his own--a mooch! I saw so clearly how I was this guy's launching pad to a great Saturday night. I had a full-time job and a lot of money for a single guy. That night, it became so clear to me how I was looking for a love that I could not find. I have always cherished loyal friends and companionship, and the party scene didn't offer any of it. There were plenty of people, but they didn't care about me; they just appreciated the shared thrills or whatever you want to call it. My friend and I headed back to his apartment after a good three to four hours of drinking (all on my tab) to meet up with a friend who had some weed. We smoked for a good hour. My head started to spin and the people in the room were like ghosts to me. I got up, said a quick goodbye, and, out of stupidity, got into my car and drove the two blocks from his apartment to my own which I shared with a Christian friend. I always made a point of getting home late at night so he wouldn't see me so drunk and stoned.
As I got out of the car, I vomitted everything that I drank that night into the parking space next to mine. I knew that I was one of the most pathetic sights on the face of the earth. When the vomitting ended, I walked toward my apartment, disillusioned with life and wanting to die. Little did I know that I was going to "die" the next day.
Sunday morning, March 28th, 1999, arrived, and I wanted to go to church. I had been going to church more regularly since I had moved in with my roommate. (I have recently talked to this now brother-in-Christ, and he told me that one of the young leaders at our church told him it would be a mistake for him to room with me. It was not! Praise God for believers who will go after those whom other believers label as hopeless tax collectors. This roommate also encouraged me to attend a college-aged small group. At this group, I was compelled to start studying the Bible so that I would understand what was going on when I attended. The leader of the group, who is now my brother-in-law, was the man whom God used to give me a desire to read the Word.) Let me get back to that wonderful Sunday morning almost ten years ago. I cleaned myself up, got into my car, and drove to church. I never prayed a prayer, but I definitely felt the Lord speaking to me. He told me that my life was going to be empty and even deadly as long as I kept running from Him and not surrending to His will and the Holy Spirit. Finally, I just said, "God, take me; I want to be yours. I can't do this on my own. Please help me! Please send me someone to show me the way." That was the pivotal moment in my life. Life had actually begun. Faith came by hearing and hearing from the word of God. This might sound corny to some people, but God really did send me a sign that morning at church. A godly man approached me that day and asked if I would like to start meeting with him on a weekly basis starting that afternoon. I was thrilled and said yes. God had heard my prayer and immediately sent someone to help show me the way. We went through some kind of book that dealt with confronting yourself for your sin, and it exposed me to lots of different jewels in Scripture. Finally, God was bringing to my redeemed memory verses that I had heard many times but never understood due to the lack of the Holy Spirit's illumination. God quickly helped me to understand a lot of Scripture and graciously caused those verses to bear fruit in my life. I am iron-clad proof of 2 Corinthians 5:17.
Almost ten years later--becoming a youth leader, going on two short-term mission trips to share the gospel in Europe, falling in love and marrying my soul mate, graduating from college, having our first son, moving to Arizona, becoming a teacher, buying and losing a home, having our daughter, living without my wife for eight weeks while she was stuck in the hospital, and seeing our beautiful second son born about three months early--I see so clearly that God is faithful to work in, through, and around us. He uses "all things" for our good and for His glory. He saved me. He chose me. He clothes me in His glory. I deserve none of this. All of these words are a testimony of God's grace in my life. I am a drunken, girl-chasing, self-pitying nobobody. He opened my eyes to the futility of this world. By Christ's wounds I am healed, and I am sealed by His Spirit.
Tomorrow, I hope to record a new rap song about the first ten years of my life in Christ. Please check out my music page and let me know what you think. Just to let you know, it is rap! I will try to have it up by tomorrow afternoon. God bless.
So, after being enthusiastically thrilled to see Pat Bowlen finally cut Mike Shanahan loose, the last couple weeks have been a disappointment to me. The new 32-year-old head coach, Josh McDaniels, who hasn't done anything other than be an offensive coordinator under a coaching legend in New England, was interested in making a multiple-team trade, dealing Jay Cutler to Tampa Bay and receiving quarterback Matt Cassell. The Kansas City Chiefs ended up trading for Cassell, and the Broncos never made the trade. Situation over, right? Not by a long shot.
Jay Cutler, rightfully feeling a little snubbed by the brand new coach wanting to bring in his own guy (Cassell had a breakout season in 2008 with McDaniels as his offensive coordinator), said that he was upset about it. Then, Cutler went on to say that he understood how the NFL is a business, and the players are, basically, pieces of meat. It seemed like a fair reaction for a Pro Bowl quarterback to feel upset, and it appeared that Cutler had a good perspective about how players are tossed around in this league. Cutler has made things worse himself the past few weeks, and he can no longer blame the new head coach, in my opinion.
The team wanted to have a sit-down with Cutler right away to try to bury the hatchet, but Cutler postponed it, showing that he wanted to mope some more. Cutler also put his house on the market, making it clear that he intends to be living somewhere other than Denver in the near future. Cutler has skipped the first team meeting as well as a workout. He is now demanding a trade. These actions communicate that Cutler refuses to reconcile with his team and new head coach, and it also shows that he truly does not understand the way that the "business" side of the NFL works.
Many people in Denver and across Bronco Country are probably saying that they saw this coming when Shanahan was fired. Hindsight is 20/20, and no one could have seen this coming. I have heard about coaches and their quarterbacks not getting along--ever hear of John Elway and Dan Reeves? However, Josh McDaniels is like the quarterback in this situation; his confidence, worship, or praise that he throws at his individual players are his proverbial passes. Jay Cutler is the disgruntled, arrogant wide receiver who is not happy with how often he is getting the ball and is now throwing a hissy fit, demanding a trade. This is not typical behavior from a quarterback.
In Cutler's defense, I think he got a bad deal with the Bronco's brand new coach coming in and, more or less, communicating that he would rather have Cassell, a potential one-hit-wonder, over Cutler, whose skills seem to be improving each year. It definitely shows a lack of respect when a new boss comes into any workplace and shows little sensitivity to the people who have established themselves as an ever-important cog in the wheel. I heard somebody try to spin McDaniels' desire to acquire Cassell as the new coach's way of saying, "There is nobody who is untradeable on this team." It is a potential technique to motivate the players. However, Josh McDaniels, this totally backfired on you, didn't it. That stunt might work if you are Bill Parcells, Bill Belichick, or Bill Cowher. In case you haven't checked, your name isn't Bill, and you haven't won a single game as a head coach. Celebrity football players like Jay Cutler aren't going to respect a 32-year-old rookie head coach coming in and trying to shake things up in such a manner.
Additionally, I think the trade would have been awful. I would much rather have Jay Cutler and his skill set over Matt Cassell's. To me, this just looks like another case of some guy getting a new job and trying to take his own guys with him. Conveniently, McDaniels thought that he could get Cassell since he was just a temp for the injured Tom Brady. No offense to Matt Cassell, but time is the best assessor of super-stardom. McDaniels should have considered these points before he did what he did. He should have also known that Cutler, who can't even take Philip Rivers talking trash about him, would consider this as a personal affront and as a slap in the face. They should have either pulled the trigger on the trade, or they should have never mentioned it. Now, McDaniels and the Denver Bronco organization can do nothing but claim that they wanted Jay Cutler all along because their is no longer anyone else available who comes close to Cutler as far as talent is concerned.
But talent will only get you so far. Cutler is missing a couple of things. Killer instinct is one, and the other, as evidenced by Cutler's childish reaction, is maturity. When I look at all of the good quarterbacks in the NFL, there is always a level of maturity and an understanding that being mature is a prerequisite to leading an NFL team as its quarterback. They have to be able to handle adversity. When things go wrong, the quarterback is the first person to be blamed. The quarterback is often heavily scrutinized. What does the current situation reveal about Cutler's ability to be scrutinized and handle adversity? He thinks no one has a right to criticize him, and he obviously cannot bounce back from difficulty or unfortunate circumstances. It seems like someone with maturity would be pretty motivated to go out and show his new boss that he was wrong about him, not mope around, throw a pity party, and blame it on no one wanting him as Jay Cutler has done.
Cutler thinks being lauded by people in the media for his rocket arm and one Pro Bowl season should make him immune to facing any scrutiny. Here are some reasons why Cutler deserves every bit of scrutiny that he faces. First, as I mentioned before, Cutler does not have the killer instinct. All Denver needed to do last season was win one of their last three games to clinch the division. Instead, they lost the last three games, finished 8-8, and missed the playoffs. People are quick to defend Cutler by saying that the defense was to blame. There is a lot of truth to that; however, a quarterback who doesn't deserve to be scrutinized would have the drive and killer instinct to put at least one of those three teams away (especially Buffalo--come on!). Next, Cutler does have a good arm and some great scrambling tendencies. He is fun to watch and he did deserve to be in the Pro Bowl. He was still inconsistent this past season, and he did throw the ball an inordinant amount of times due to all of the injuries in the backfield. Finally, Jay Cutler's record as the starting quarterback for the Denver Broncos is a losing one. The ego should go out the door right there.
Jay Cutler needs to grow up. His present attitude shows that he certainly lacks the ability to bounce back from adverse situations. Just because he was christened the franchise quarterback doesn't give him a free pass from all of the challenges that NFL quarterbacks face. I am no Denver Broncos Kool Aid drinker; I am highly critical of players, coaches, and attitudes that are bad for the team. If Cutler would have the maturity to bounce back from this and move on, I would be more than happy. Like I said, he is the best man for the job. The problem is that he needs to start acting like a man, not mimicking the cool kid in junior high who gets an attitude because someone else is getting more attention than him.
Okay, so, if you didn't know this already, I am a big U2 freak. I have found that most people who like U2 are ultra-enthusiastic as I am. I haven't run into many casual U2 fans. People tend to love them or hate them. I fall deep into the former category. I own all of their studio albums, I went to a music store for the midnight release of All That You Can't Leave Behind, I own a couple of their DVDs, I have the book, U2 by U2, and I am writing a post about them. So, it is important to understand that I am a hardcore fan--I just haven't joined their fan club yet; that's next on the list. My review of their newest album is very biased because of my passion for this band.
No Line on the Horizon, U2's newest release, is a unique album. I am pleased with it, but I do think that it will probably be received with mixed reactions. U2 purists may see it as over-produced and rushed while U2 Kool Aid drinkers like me will laud and applaud it. I think a number of elements really work on this album:
First, you can find elements from many different U2 albums on No Line on the Horizon. I thought that the first song, titled the same as the album, had an Achtung... sort of feel whereas "The Moment of Surrender" (my personal favorite) and "White as Snow" have hints of the greatness that was found in All That You Can't Leave Behind. You can hear sounds that are reminiscent of The Unforgettable Fire and War in other tracks, and you get a heavy dose of their mid-90's sound, which I am sure will be a bad thing for some people as Zooropa and Pop are not U2's most beloved albums.
Next, the vocals are beautiful as always, and the band does more harmonizing than they have traditionally, and I find it very enjoyable. U2 seems to be trying to be innovative while maintaining their true sound; I thought the album seemed slightly different, but it still has the U2 magic.
Finally, I always enjoy Bono's lyric writing. Bono communicates enigmatic, intentionally cheesy, and deeply vulnerable lines throughout the album that communicate his feelings on celebrity status, God, war, terrorism, and his own critics. Certain songs like "White as Snow" are powerfully packed with Biblical allusions. Other songs communicate that Bono is very thankful for his "calling." However you view U2's frontman, a close examination of his lyrics reveal a very fascinating man: he is a man who loves his life and hates his life simultaneously, he is a man who acknowledges what Christ did at the cross yet tries to achieve his own righteousness and pass it on to the world, and he is a man who knows how big he is yet suffers from intense insecurity laced with humility.
My only gripes are that the song, "Get on Your Boots," should have been titled "Vertigo 2"; it sounds totally unoriginal. And "...Boots" is an example of songs where they may have tried a little too hard with looping and other production techniques.
Overall, I believe that this is an album that will get better with use. I have found, personally, that U2's albums become more enjoyable the more you listen to them.
Besides, it isn't fair to expect them to make an Achtung Baby or a Joshua Tree on every single album.
My beautiful wife has been in the hospital for 38 days now. She is in good hands and is there for a good reason, but it has been the hardest trial that we have ever experienced. We have lived in a new apartment for five weeks now, and she has never stepped foot through the door. A house doesn’t make a home. I have done my best to be the father, husband, errand runner, and temporary worker at home that I can be without my wife. The support that she has been able to give with practical things that she can do from her hospital bed has been invaluable to me, not to mention the spiritual encouragement she has been.
Needless to say, my life has been completely consumed by working, taking many trips to the hospital, and caring for our family and home. We have had so much help from our church and from people at my work. We have needed every bit of it. Praise God for the way he provides for our needs. The children and I have been stricken with various ailments of the physical nature, and these have made the trial all the more difficult. I find myself relating to the passage in 2 Corinthians 12 where Paul asks God to remove his “thorn in the flesh” multiple times and God replies, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness.” I desire to also relate to the passage where Paul boasts in the trials so that “the power of Christ” might dwell in Him.
Earlier this week, I was reflecting on all of the things in my life that used to seem so easy and free. With our current situation, our lives have been anything but easy, and free time is sleep time. I find myself complaining and pitying myself because I am not able to do the things in life that I not only enjoyed but also the things that are needs like going to church and small group on a regular basis, especially with my wife. Especially as a family.
I think that I have rights. The only real right that I have can be inferred from my position as a human being, who, “by nature,” is one of many “children of wrath.” God, in His matchless mercy and grace, has blessed me not only with every spiritual gift in the heavenly places, but He has provided so many earthly blessings to me as well. I have not appreciated those things the way that I should. To quote some famous butt-rock song, “You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.” Here are some of the things that I have taken for granted before this trial began:
I have not fully appreciated all that my wonderful helper, wife, and best friend does for me. Prior to this trial, she was pregnant, working part-time, taking our two kids to her mother’s before and after work, and making wonderful meals. I don’t know how you do it, Pam. I pray that I can be more of a support to her when God chooses to restore our family.
I have taken for granted the fact that every day there exists the opportunity to serve the needs of others. There are needy people all around. We often hear about the needs, and our hearts hurt for the people. We intend to do something, and we often say that we will do something. Unfortunately, we let “our” busy schedules or just “our” own preferences prevent those good intentions from bearing any fruit. I am ashamed at how many opportunities I have missed to just go, without the person asking me, to visit that person who is suffering and going through a trial, helping them in any way that I can. I hope to change this when God chooses to bring an end to this trial.
I have taken for granted the freedom to go into the world and preach the gospel. I am encouraged by the strategic ways that people in our church are going out and doing this on Saturday nights. I used to tell myself, about two to three months ago, that I would go out and join these men when we moved closer to town. All I had to do back then was drive 45 minutes. Now, I am the only person at home to watch the kids, so getting out is impossible. Thankfully, I live right next to a park where lots of families go to take the kids to play. There are opportunities for the gospel there. In addition, I am in a position in life that makes my co-workers cringe when I explain it to them. This is a perfect opportunity to tell them about the power of Christ sustaining me. God willing, I will be able to join my brothers in their strategic, God-glorifying efforts one day.
I have taken for granted the freedom I used to have to go to church as a family.
I have taken normal health for granted.
I have not appreciated the ability to spend time in the word uninterrupted or at a time when I am not completely exhausted and unmotivated.
I have taken for granted the opportunities that I used to have to care for my body by going jogging, biking, or hiking.
I have taken for granted the godly men, from my past, who would meet with me weekly and shepherd my heart in a personal way. I miss those days.
By God’s grace, these are some of the things that I have not taken for granted:
I have an indescribable appreciation for those from our church body who have deeply and personally cared for our needs. From an overstuffed refrigerator, to trips to parks with other families, to an anonymous gift of a ridiculous amount of money, to many visitors on my wife’s behalf, to babysitting, we thank you all and praise God for you all everyday. Thank you to each and every one of you who has genuinely labored to love us steadily through this trial. God is glorified in this.
My in-laws are amazing. I could not have asked for two better parents-in-law. They have done the most as far as caring for the kids go, and they have done it all in a joyful and willing way.
My parents and my sister have been faithful prayer warriors and lifelines during this time.
My brother, Chris Buckingham, in Seattle has been the closest friend to me during this trial. I praise God for the way that you are bearing this burden with us. It is evident through your phone calls and Facebook messages.
I appreciate everyone’s Facebook messages and encouragements. I could use some more.
Many of my sweet 9th grade students faithfully ask me how my wife and the baby are doing. This means so much to me.
My children, Joshua and Nadine, are the most amazing gift from God (I am tearing up as I type this). They are filled with joy, and they have been the easiest kids to have to deal with in the midst of this seemingly impossible task. I am their father, but they have inspired me. God teaches me so much through their sweet and loving dispositions.
I am thankful for all of the prayers that are being lifted up on our behalf.
I am thankful that God has placed our family in a position to be a testimony to the church and to the lost world even though it is an excruciatingly painful position for me.
I have learned to look forward to heaven, my true home, with longing and anticipation in the midst of suffering. It is a place where God will wipe away every tear, where we will be like Him because we will see Him as He really is, and where we will always be with the Lord.
I regret that it has taken a big trial like this for me to see so many things that I take for granted, but I rejoice that God is teaching me and refining me (hopefully). Take time to not only, but most importantly, praise God for who He is and what He has done, but thank Him for all of the blessings of life. Whether you eat, drink, sleep, share the gospel, go jogging, enjoy a ballgame or a cup of coffee, do all to the glory of God. Praise Him by acknowledging, in the midst of all of those things, that “Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of Lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow” (James 1:17).
Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.
Sometimes, I feel dry or cold. I feel unable to be emotional and vulnerable even when I am all alone. I have often asked God to allow me to just be able to break down and cry and enter that state of total desperation before the Lord. Today, after about three of the most challenging weeks of my life, God blessed me with the ability to be able to cry. I know this post probably seems strange and absurd, but I am so thankful for tears today. It is almost as if my soul was a parched land that so desperately needed a rainfall from my eyes. Though I am still weak, I feel very blessed to have had a good cry this morning as I poured out my soul to God.
