Don't Take Anything for Granted!

My beautiful wife has been in the hospital for 38 days now. She is in good hands and is there for a good reason, but it has been the hardest trial that we have ever experienced. We have lived in a new apartment for five weeks now, and she has never stepped foot through the door. A house doesn’t make a home. I have done my best to be the father, husband, errand runner, and temporary worker at home that I can be without my wife. The support that she has been able to give with practical things that she can do from her hospital bed has been invaluable to me, not to mention the spiritual encouragement she has been.

Needless to say, my life has been completely consumed by working, taking many trips to the hospital, and caring for our family and home. We have had so much help from our church and from people at my work. We have needed every bit of it. Praise God for the way he provides for our needs. The children and I have been stricken with various ailments of the physical nature, and these have made the trial all the more difficult. I find myself relating to the passage in 2 Corinthians 12 where Paul asks God to remove his “thorn in the flesh” multiple times and God replies, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness.” I desire to also relate to the passage where Paul boasts in the trials so that “the power of Christ” might dwell in Him.

Earlier this week, I was reflecting on all of the things in my life that used to seem so easy and free. With our current situation, our lives have been anything but easy, and free time is sleep time. I find myself complaining and pitying myself because I am not able to do the things in life that I not only enjoyed but also the things that are needs like going to church and small group on a regular basis, especially with my wife. Especially as a family.

I think that I have rights. The only real right that I have can be inferred from my position as a human being, who, “by nature,” is one of many “children of wrath.” God, in His matchless mercy and grace, has blessed me not only with every spiritual gift in the heavenly places, but He has provided so many earthly blessings to me as well. I have not appreciated those things the way that I should. To quote some famous butt-rock song, “You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.” Here are some of the things that I have taken for granted before this trial began:

1. I have not fully appreciated all that my wonderful helper, wife, and best friend does for me. Prior to this trial, she was pregnant, working part-time, taking our two kids to her mother’s before and after work, and making wonderful meals. I don’t know how you do it, Pam. I pray that I can be more of a support to her when God chooses to restore our family.
2. I have taken for granted the fact that every day there exists the opportunity to serve the needs of others. There are needy people all around. We often hear about the needs, and our hearts hurt for the people. We intend to do something, and we often say that we will do something. Unfortunately, we let “our” busy schedules or just “our” own preferences prevent those good intentions from bearing any fruit. I am ashamed at how many opportunities I have missed to just go, without the person asking me, to visit that person who is suffering and going through a trial, helping them in any way that I can. I hope to change this when God chooses to bring an end to this trial.
3. I have taken for granted the freedom to go into the world and preach the gospel. I am encouraged by the strategic ways that people in our church are going out and doing this on Saturday nights. I used to tell myself, about two to three months ago, that I would go out and join these men when we moved closer to town. All I had to do back then was drive 45 minutes. Now, I am the only person at home to watch the kids, so getting out is impossible. Thankfully, I live right next to a park where lots of families go to take the kids to play. There are opportunities for the gospel there. In addition, I am in a position in life that makes my co-workers cringe when I explain it to them. This is a perfect opportunity to tell them about the power of Christ sustaining me. God willing, I will be able to join my brothers in their strategic, God-glorifying efforts one day.
4. I have taken for granted the freedom I used to have to go to church as a family.
5. I have taken normal health for granted.
6. I have not appreciated the ability to spend time in the word uninterrupted or at a time when I am not completely exhausted and unmotivated.
7. I have taken for granted the opportunities that I used to have to care for my body by going jogging, biking, or hiking.
8. I have taken for granted the godly men, from my past, who would meet with me weekly and shepherd my heart in a personal way. I miss those days.

By God’s grace, these are some of the things that I have not taken for granted:

1. I have an indescribable appreciation for those from our church body who have deeply and personally cared for our needs. From an overstuffed refrigerator, to trips to parks with other families, to an anonymous gift of a ridiculous amount of money, to many visitors on my wife’s behalf, to babysitting, we thank you all and praise God for you all everyday. Thank you to each and every one of you who has genuinely labored to love us steadily through this trial. God is glorified in this.
2. My in-laws are amazing. I could not have asked for two better parents-in-law. They have done the most as far as caring for the kids go, and they have done it all in a joyful and willing way.
3. My parents and my sister have been faithful prayer warriors and lifelines during this time.
4. My brother, Chris Buckingham, in Seattle has been the closest friend to me during this trial. I praise God for the way that you are bearing this burden with us. It is evident through your phone calls and Facebook messages.
5. I appreciate everyone’s Facebook messages and encouragements. I could use some more.
6. Many of my sweet 9th grade students faithfully ask me how my wife and the baby are doing. This means so much to me.
7. My children, Joshua and Nadine, are the most amazing gift from God (I am tearing up as I type this). They are filled with joy, and they have been the easiest kids to have to deal with in the midst of this seemingly impossible task. I am their father, but they have inspired me. God teaches me so much through their sweet and loving dispositions.
8. I am thankful for all of the prayers that are being lifted up on our behalf.
9. I am thankful that God has placed our family in a position to be a testimony to the church and to the lost world even though it is an excruciatingly painful position for me.
10. I have learned to look forward to heaven, my true home, with longing and anticipation in the midst of suffering. It is a place where God will wipe away every tear, where we will be like Him because we will see Him as He really is, and where we will always be with the Lord.

I regret that it has taken a big trial like this for me to see so many things that I take for granted, but I rejoice that God is teaching me and refining me (hopefully). Take time to not only, but most importantly, praise God for who He is and what He has done, but thank Him for all of the blessings of life. Whether you eat, drink, sleep, share the gospel, go jogging, enjoy a ballgame or a cup of coffee, do all to the glory of God. Praise Him by acknowledging, in the midst of all of those things, that “Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of Lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow” (James 1:17).

Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.